glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i came on her dog
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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