Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he fucked my hip out of place.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
