Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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