we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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