actually, I'm a sock model
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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