I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize