So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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