He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
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Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
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I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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