put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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