I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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