So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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