Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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