i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
