Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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