i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
