i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
