i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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