I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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