You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
