Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
