i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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