I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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