im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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