do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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