Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
