Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize