On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
