So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
