oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
