"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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