You were right. It hurts to walk today.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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