Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's just like the Real World with babies
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
