I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
