i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There r osticjed everywhere
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
