Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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