Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
