Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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