Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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