She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
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Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
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He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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