Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
