I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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