my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
