i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
