Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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