Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
God, I missed his penis.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
