I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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