Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
