I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize