I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
