if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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