and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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