and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
