somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
