he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
