It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
