My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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