I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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