walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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