Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize