You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
