Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
