The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
