Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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