No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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