So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
