I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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